Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Vandenberg’s Next Mission: SpaceX Rocket Launch on Sunday - Noozhawk

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand how hurricane paths work

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

New model helps to figure out which distant planets may host life - Space

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Do Brits realize that Andrew Tate is the one who will liberate their country from tyranny by becoming prime minister?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

What do you think of India's IT Minister Ashwini Vaishnaw comparing the Indian government's efforts to build a localised AI model to sending a mission to the moon at a fraction of the cost?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Harvard gastroenterologist Dr Saurabh Sethi shares two ways to keep the liver healthy - Times of India

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why do women need to wear bras, in spite of the fact that the breasts are an integral part of the body?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Sun unleashes monster solar storm: Rare G4 alert issued for earth - ScienceDaily

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Reality TV star’s son dead at 16: ‘Life is so cruel and unfair’ - AL.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I can read

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

I actually pay taxes